Okay, everybody! Pop quiz time! Let's see if you can come up with clear, concise definitions for each of the following words, using only words a 3-year-old would understand. Ready? Here we go:
Lawyer
Think
Local diners
In charge
Officially
Undetectable
Survive
Creditors
Lend
Smuggling
3rd party
How did you do? If you feel pretty good about your on-the-spot definitions, I would like to hire you. PLEASE come to my house and live with me so you can answer Henry's questions! He never stops! I think 90% of the sentences that come out of his mouth are questions. And we all know that a LOT of sentences come out of his mouth. The words listed above are just a few examples of words I have been asked to define in the last week. On one hand, I can understand where he's coming from. I'll be the first to admit that our language is mystifying. There are lots of words in the English language that he doesn't know yet, and I really do think it's great that he has set out to learn all of them.
After I stumbled through my best definition of "undetectable," he asked, "What does 'tectable' mean?" I think the idea of a word related to "undies" was puzzling him. I can see why that might be confusing.
After Ben tried to define the word "survive" by saying, "to survive is to live," Henry asked, "Then why does the police officer on Wall-E say, 'I don't want to survive; I want to live?'"
So yes, we all have some sympathy for Henry, the 3-year-old who wants to know and understand everything but doesn't. The world is confusing! Now let's have some sympathy for the mom who has to live with Henry all day and answer all of his questions, trying her hardest to keep that sweet, patient tone to her voice (it doesn't last long, folks). Are you thinking this rant should be about over? It has just begun.
Let's start with "WHY." I'm pretty sure I get asked "Why?" at least 80 times a day. Henry asks why after nearly everything I say.
Please get your shoes on.
Why?
Because we're going to the park.
Why?
Because someone invited us.
Why?
Because they like us.
Why?
Because we're fun to be around, and we're super cool.
Why?
Because we were born that way.
Why?
[This is the point where I have a big choice to make. I could say something about heredity and genes, but then I know the next question will be, "What is genetics?" and then we'll go into a whole new endless conversation.] So I opt for . . .
I don't know.
Why do you not know?
I just don't know.
But WHY do you not know?
I just don't have a reason.
Why do you not have a reason?
I just don't have a reason.
Why do you not have a reason why you don't have a reason?
Yes, that last one is a direct quote from Henry that comes out nearly every day in some conversation or another. You think this is funny? Imagine that same conversation repeated for everything I ask him to do throughout the day (Please get dressed; Please make your bed; Please don't put a plastic bag on Ellis' head). Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? It's not funny. It's torture. It's like when someone sings "This is the song that doesn't end," and it's funny the first two times and then they keep singing it all day long. It's like yesterday when Ben had the hiccups for three 4-hour intervals with an hour break in between. Not funny anymore! Torture!
An example:
Do knives get wet?
Yes.
What knives?
I don't know what knives you were talking about.
What knives get wet?
I don't know. All knives get wet sometimes?
No, WHAT KNIVES?
I don't know.
What knives?
I don't know.
What knives?
I don't know.
WHAT KNIVES?
Um, paring knives.
Oh, paring knives. What are paring knives?
Sometimes I resort to lying. Don't judge me. You would do the same. This conversation happened as we were driving down the street:
(Pointing out the window) Look at that girl! What's that girl's name?
I don't know.
What is it?
I don't know. I've never met her.
Why do you not know it?
I've never met her.
But what is her name?
I don't know.
What IS it?
I don't know.
What IIIIIIISSSSSSSS it?
I'm pretty sure it's Mary.
Oh, Mary?
Yep.
Hmmm, Mary.
Yes, I lie to my child. All because "I don't know" is never an acceptable answer. Sometimes he will be a good sport and after asking, "Is there a reason why you don't have a reason why you don't have a reason why?" I will laugh at him, and then he will laugh too, and maybe somewhere down there in that seeking mind of his, he can sense that he's being just a wee bit ridiculous. It helps us all when we can step back and laugh. But let me tell you, sometimes that is very hard to do.
This child is teaching me patience. I have a lot to learn. Anyone want to join me? I'm serious about my offer to let you come and live with me. Please. Come. Why not?
11 comments:
Hi. I don't know if you knew that I blog stalk you but I do. Maybe not really stalking but just checking in on your cute little family. This post was worth de-lurking for. :) Yes. I know your world. and hearing it made me smile. Yes. I've done as you've done. It's incredible isn't it. The world of parenthood. :) This is Amber by the way. Adams sister. :) Come visit my blog if you'd like to see my face and remember who I am. :)
You know Jenn, I think I may have had a bit of Henry in me. Or is it he in me? Anyway, I still remember asking my dad so many questions about everything. I thought he was the smartest man in the world because he always knew the answers. I'm sure he felt much the same way. He did have the advantage of like 40+ years of experience, but I still do think he knows the answer to just about everything.
I have to admit I laughed out loud a lot while reading this post. There have got to be some responses that would stop the whys. I just don't know how to talk Henry into a circle yet. I'll have to think about it for a bit. In the mean time, good luck!
Jenn, this post was so funny. Seriously, I can only imagine how annoying it is to have that all day long. It would drive me crazy- I would be lying a lot more than you are I'm sure. But hearing about it just makes me love Henry and I think he's just the smartest, cutest boy ever. I love the knives one.
That Henry is learning a lot by asking you all of those questions! Have you ever turned it back to him when he asks an impossible one? Like "What do you think that stranger's name is, Henry?" That was the only way to get Soph to stop her endless "why" questions.
I agree with Kati on this one. I have to turn the tables occasionally and then keep asking them why. It is pretty fun, eventually they just stop talking. Well, for about 3 minutes anyway. Carter was our worst at 'why', but he is also the most aware of what is going on around him and wants all the answers. Be prepared for if any future children come you better have your responses ready for How did Heavenly Father get the baby in your tummy? How does the baby live in there? How does it come out? Those are fun. No fluffy answers were excepted, only hard facts led to the questions stopping. Those are some pretty tough words he would like defintions too. Good Luck and you are doing fabulous!!
I am laughing so hard right now! Exactly my life! We should have the boys call each other when they have a question and let them find the answers for us! Seriously.
And yes I TOTALLY lie to Jack to satisfy him with an answer.
Oh Jenn. I can totally relate. I was just telling someone the other day about how Sophia asks why about 100 times a day. Like you said, I think they're just trying to figure out this confusing world. My MD once told me that raising children is like being pecked to death by chickens. I think it definitely relates to raising 3 year olds! My response is usually "because I'm the mom and I said so" so you're doing a lot better than me!
I'm there with you too. My 5 yr old does the same thing, has been for about 2 yrs so I can completely relate. At some point they get that you're not going to have another answer and just give up on the question but then as you know there is always another one. Sometimes I just ask Ammon to not ask me questions for a little while, that works sometimes. Good luck
I'm discovering a little of this right now. I'm helping my mom watch my sister's three kids (age 4, 3, 1), and it's definitely harder to be patient with them than with my Caleb. Their 3-year-old corrects me when I say "shoes" instead of "sandals," and likes to ask "why" also...Good luck!
That is funny because I have told that EXACT lie about somone's name to Gavin. If I don't have answer to every single query then he will later tell people "My mommy doesn't know anything." We can't have that rumor spread about, now can we?
You have my sympathy and permission to be impatient frequently! Dan was probably our worst for constant questions but I don't think any of our six top Henry! I'll get prepared before our visit next week to be interrogated and have plenty of answers ready. But most of them will be made up because I'm not smart enough to answer Henry's questions!
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