MBA vs. Ph.D.

As part of my program, I have to take six MBA courses. I've got my first one, Consumer Finance, right now. In the back of my head, I sort of figured that MBA classes would be similar to my Ph.D. classes, just less technical. Boy, was I wrong. Imagine you are enrolled in a typical MBA or Ph.D. class at Harvard. Here's what you'd get:

MBA: Before the semester begins, you get a packet of materials, all printed up for you in booklet form, and neatly tied together with white string. They deliver it to your personalized, combination-locked mailbox.

Ph.D.: You're lucky if your professor made any sort of class notes or slides before class. It's definitely up to you to print them out.

MBA: You walk in to a classroom trimmed with darkly stained wood. There is stadium seating, and each student gets a swivel chair as well as a laminated name card. All in all, it kind of looks like the U.N.

Ph.D.: Your classroom probably looks a bit like it came from Dead Poets Society. Nothing wrong with that, of course. It's just that a building should be updated every 50 years or so. Your seat will be squeaky and uncomfortable, and your desk will most likely be wobbly. And, you might not get a seat at all, since there is no cap on the number of people that can take the course.

MBA: Your fellow students are well-dressed, attractive, and boisterous. They have names like Carmine and Chas.

Ph.D.: The room is uncomfortably silent when you walk in, even though most of students are there already. As you look around, you might describe them as frumpy and a bit unkempt. They have names like Ugo and Raluca.

MBA: Class starts right on the hour. Everyone has read the business case you are going over beforehand. The professor begins: "You are Scott Jones, the CEO of First National Bank. If you think you should create lottery-based savings accounts at your bank, press A. If not, press B." On your desk in front of you there are four multiple-choice buttons encased in a brass frame, and as the students press their choice the professor can see their responses in real time on his computer in the front of the class.

Ph.D.: Class starts seven minutes after the hour. This is not because anyone is late; class always begins at seven minutes after the hour. They've been doing it that way for years and years. The professor begins (read with a French accent): "Where are ze chalks? Zere is no chalks!" The only thing on hand is sidewalk chalk. No one knows why there is sidewalk chalk in the classroom, but that's all there is, so the professor uses it. He dives in to writing equations on the three chalkboards that line the front of the room. It's a model of choice under uncertainty.

MBA: Half of your grade is participation, and as the class progresses there are so many comments that it is becoming increasingly difficult for the professor to even get a word in edgewise. Students all have their own strategies for getting called on so that they can get their participation points for the day. Some of the comments are good, but a lot aren't. Slowly, you crank through the case, viewing the decision of Scott Jones from every possible angle.

Ph.D.: The chalkboards are all full, so the professor grabs an eraser. He's been teaching for 15 years, but he still isn't quite sure which side of the eraser erases the best. He guesses wrong, using the back of the eraser to try to wipe the board clean, but it doesn't make much difference because sidewalk chalk doesn't erase very well anyway. He does his best, but from this point on you can't really make out the gammas from the deltas on the board, and the lecture becomes almost impossible to follow.

MBA: The chalkboards are all full (but not with Greek letters!), so the professor hits a button and the board rises to reveal another set of boards below, all immaculately clean. The discussion continues, reaching no real conclusion...

Ph.D.: The model is almost solved now, and you get the intuition, but you're wondering in the back of your head how on earth you are going to figure out how to mathematically solve these models for your problem set that is due next week. You hope that this is in one of the textbooks that are weighing down your shelves at your office...

MBA: By the end of the case, it is no more clear than at the start whether lottery-linked savings accounts are a good idea or not. But you've sure talked about it a lot, even if you haven't learned a thing. The professor uses the touch-screen at the front of the room to dim the front lights and lower the screen to display his Powerpoint slides showing the actual outcome of the case. Class gets over, and everyone applauds the professor.

Ph.D.: Class is nearly over. The professor realizes that he only made it through half of what he was supposed to get through, so he rushes through the end, taking derivatives in his head and spitting out the results faster than you can write them down. You are comforted by the fact that there is a right answer, even though you're not quite sure how to get there yourself. When the professor stops, everyone silently shuffles out the door.

Okay, so maybe there are a few stereotypes and broad generalizations in there. :) But seriously, this isn't far off from the truth! In fact, none of what I wrote above is made up. All of that has happened to me. The two worlds are so vastly different, I can't even explain it. The things is, even though the MBA classes are much more entertaining, I also come away from them wondering if I've really learned anything. It's a bit of a toss-up as to which one I prefer, to be honest. However, as far as teaching goes, I'd much rather teach the MBA class!